Thursday, January 27, 2011

Finding Time for Yourself

As a working, single parent, the idea of finding "me time" can be a bit daunting-- as anyone in a similiar situation can attest. In my world, me time = writing time. It is what I want to be doing when there is nothing pressing me in another direction.

My biggest issue however, seems to be guilt. Guilt over not giving the kids enough attention when I get home. Guilt over spending the evening with my nose in a laptop knowing my retired boyfriend has been home alone all day with nothing to do BUT wait for me to get home so he can chat with someone other than the dog. Some days my fingers itch to write, but I can't force myself to pick up the laptop because I know the look that will inevitably follow. I guess that would be self-imposed guilt?

This little dilemma got me thinking. There are a lot of you out there also carrying a workload, and a life outside writing, so I am turning the question to you all.

How do you find time to write?  Do you have a specific routine? Certain hours of the day set aside for writing? Do you feel guilty when you are shutting everything out while you pound through a new chapter?

How do you manage to juggle all the little balls without dropping any?


  1. How do you find time to write?
    I just do. If my kids are watching t.v. I sit with them, laptop in hand. If my husband is skipping channels, I am with him, laptop in hnd.

    Do you have a specific routine?
    Nope. :)

    Certain hours of the day set aside for writing?
    Wish I did, but I do find 10pm - 12am to be the best time because my kids are 'asleep' and if hubby is busy with his 'stuff', that time is allllllll mine. I couldn't care less if the house is clean or clothes are washed. They'll get done ... eventually. ;)

    Do you feel guilty when you are shutting everything out while you pound through a new chapter?
    Nope. Not one bit ... not even .0001% bit. :)

    How do you manage to juggle all the little balls without dropping any?
    Good question. I had lunch with a woman today who works FOR me. She and I were chatting about me ... and I filled her in on my life and what I do. I explained that I am NOT stressed by doing so much. She said "You're the kind of person who would be stressed if you DID NOT have all this to do."
    I agree. 100%. :)

    I need way too much to be productive. On those days where I feel I haven't enough to do? I do nothing. :)

    Oh and if my kids need me, really NEED me? They'll tell me. Same with hubby. It only takes 5-10 minutes and they are all done NEEDING me and I can sit, with my laptop in hand. :)

  2. When my daughter is at home (only schools 2-3 days/week) I tend to write a bit in the morning and she plays on her own. The afternoon is hers, and I don't write again until after she goes to bed.

    Thankfully I have a hubby that's a WOW adict, so he feels free to do his thing and I feel free to do mine. On the weekends if I get a writing itch, sometimes I do feel guilty if my daughter is bored. Sometimes I stop and play with her, but if I'm trying to get a thought process out of my head before I lose it, sometimes I'll push on.

    I see how it would be really hard for you, though, with three kids and a BF who need you.

  3. I have Mon-Fri between 9 and 3 all to myself. Around cleaning and shopping and school runs, I get to write as much as I like. However, I find my most constructive time to be of an evening, once my family are all home where they belong, and we're all fed and I have nothing left to do other than yell, "Bedtime!" If my kids need to speak to me, they just do. If my man needs to speak to me, he just does. If he feels neglected, he tells me, but mostly he lets me just write. They're all about as understanding as a writer could ever ask of their family and I consider myself very fortunate. So, do I feel guilty? Nah!

  4. Fantastic comments and suggestions guys. I am rather new at the writing every day thing (and loving every second of it), so hopefully I will get to a point where I can forgive myself for not always doing for others, and cut myself a little slack. :)