As scary as the prospect is at my ripe age of fourty, it is time for me to make a clean break and a new start. For myself, and for my daughters. After a six year relationship and the purchase of a house and two dogs, it is time for me to strike out on my own once again. Love is nothing without trust.
For a long time I told myself things like "it is better than being alone" whenever things seemed bleak or I felt betrayed. I told myself I wasn't a quitter, that I would stick with it and by doing so, by making that sacrifice, things would improve. It won't get worse, right? Wrong.
It turns out, despite or greatest desire to the contrary, life just doesn't work that way. There comes a point where you have to weigh all the sacrifices, all the times you turned the other cheek, or believed the promises and vows made against all the lies, half-hearted attempts at regaining the trust, and stress of trying to save a relationship that is, for all intents, dead.
I guess the underlying message in this, at least for me, is that people don't change. It doesn't matter how badly you want them to, how much you love them, or how much you sacrifice. The only thing you can ever change, is YOU.
So... that is my lesson for today and the first step to making a new start.
TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE. I am not about to waste it :)
Good for you, Rebecca.
ReplyDeleteYour daughters learn by watching you. Teach them well. Value yourself. Love yourself. And they'll learn to be strong women.
Being in a bad relationship is NOT better than being alone.
Hang in there, girl.
I understand this all too well.
ReplyDeleteLive each day without fear, and the good days come back.
Thanks guys :) I appreciate the support :)
ReplyDeleteNow I just gotta find an apt. that accepts dogs in the school district my girls are already in and all will be right with the world. The idea of renting again makes me cringe, but for the short term, it is the only smart option.